Catholic Charities of San Bernardino and Riverside Counties

By: Dan Paraiso

I’ve always considered myself to be an intelligent person, a person who uses logic and reason to make measured decisions that take into account the factors of each situation in which I find myself. Going into the Poverty Simulation, I was thoroughly convinced of my ability to make the hard decisions and ultimately navigate my family through the treacherous (albeit simulated) waters of the poverty scenario. In many ways, I succeeded, however in other ways, I failed.

On one hand, my resourcefulness was tested, as I was faced with the daunting task of providing for my family. In the premise that was given, I took the role of father to two children, and in keeping with the improvisational nature of the simulation, a further wrinkle was provided in that we had no one to play my wife. When presented with this situation, the facilitator simply declared that I had been left by my wife, and because of this, I was not given access to the meager income which she was given. Suddenly, I was in a single parent, two child family situation, with no income.

With this as a base, a list of necessities and priorities were formulated. What was needed, what wasn’t needed? What can we sell? What about school, or food? These concerns raced through my mind, as the mortgage company informed me that my mortgage was due. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I went around to the different agencies in a very efficient manner, and was even able to secure quite a deal on a used car which was at my disposal. When time was finally called, I actually had $2000 in hand.

However, I was also faced with some sobering realities. Because of the skewed time scales, I was not aware of how much time had passed in the scenario, and as such, my children were left unattended for extended periods of time. This happened to such an extent that the police became involved, and my children were sent to child protective services, and I was served a harsh warning and threats of jail time. Also, and perhaps most profound for me, was the fact that my children had not eaten for the better part of a week. Although I had a workable amount of money at my disposal, it was still impossible to take care of all priorities. The analogy of the circus performer attempting to spin multiple plates at the same time, and then suddenly all of the crash to the ground and shatter in rapid succession comes to mind.

The fact that my children were not eating regularly was something which hit me in a very personal way. My parents were always excellent about providing shelter and sustenance for my sisters and I. I thought that this would be a situation wherein I would flourish, as I was self assured with my logic and rationality, but the results speak for themselves: My children (in the scenario) went without food for extended periods, and despite my best efforts to address priorities in their proper order, I failed comprehensively.

To say that I now know what it is like to live in poverty would be an insult to those who actually have to deal with these choices on a daily basis. What I did was a game, a simulation. It was a taste of the desperation and anxiety that these people face. That being said, it is a very humbling look at poverty. Some of my preconceptions and ideas about poverty held true, but many more were shattered. In all honesty, I have had to take a hard look at myself and search my soul to see if indeed I am ready and/or able to have children of my own. If I can fail this comprehensively at a simulation, what about when actual lives are on the line? This is after only one, 4 hour simulation.

For me it was not so much an experience with failure, or with success, it was more so becoming acquainted with spinning my wheels. During the simulation I experienced a palpable sense of frustration, despite my best efforts.